hoo-ah

i do not hate mothers day. really. it is just a hard day for me...it makes me sad as i see people doing kind things for their mothers or having to call there mothers....or whatever. I wish i could tell my mom happy mothers day...i know i can - but for real like she was alive and not dead....and why this year have three people said happy mothers day to me...I have not known how to respond I just smile and say nothing.

It is odd sometimes how you can avoid something for whatever reason - but life ever do gently shoves it right back in your face...just so you won't forget.

and on a totally separate note I just learned on Friday that DC does not have school buses...huh?

Defining the future of Americans for the Arts

The good folks at Americans for the Arts are diving into a strategic planning process, and scanning the environment to see how and where they can focus their energy in the coming years. As part of that search, they've launched an on-line survey to gather insight and input from a wide range of constituents. take a moment and fill it out - it could help the future.

Peace out!

i am just happy to be here....

eating at ted's montana grill was just a great night for me....

home?

I spoke with my dad about three or five weeks ago and he let me know that he will be selling our home in Montana. This was not a huge surprise as he has been talking about retiring and moving to Silver City, New Mexico….I had been planning to go home in late August and part of September. It seems now that house has sold and my dad will be moving out as of June 1.

I have been really unsure what to think about this or do…and emotionally have been all over the place. I have never really moved out of my childhood home. My room was just as I left it till I was 28 – that was only 3 years ago.

I decided about a week ago that I must go home…I would regret it if I did not....but when things could not be busier and I could not be pulled in any more directions. I sat on this decision for a bit – only telling a few. I told my dad I would be coming home earlier this week to pack up my things and place in a storage shed in Dillon….and now I have purchased my ticket.

So, I will head to Dillon May 16 – 20 to pack up things…so many things filled with so many memories….I have been trying to not reflect on the past to much…but I am having trouble and have been cranky at time as of late.

I am not sure what all of this will feel like when I am there and it is real. I have been dreaming about going home in aug/sept for so long…I am not sure what to do with those thoughts now.

sickness

i have been in bed for 5 days. one of which i think that i did not move. i actually had a fever of 103! I had a fever for 4 days. I think it was sickest I have been in my adult life. I went to the doctor. I guess they helpped....I am taking the meds...and am a bit better. Scot got this too...i think at this point we are not sure who gave what to who...but the fevers have passed....I have have had so much ginger ale, soup, and water. last night we did order out and ate real food.

I have not smoked since last firday at about 3:30. I do not even really want one...seriously! I mean I have moments....but....trying!

I need more time

I need more time

It seems like days just evaporate into nothing…maybe I need to utilize the mornings in a better manner.

Trust

Trust

Why is this so slippery? Should it not just be a solid thing? Just be there…why does it flux in and out…is it me?

Life Plans

Life Plans

Sneeze – cough

Location

Location

I want to live in the west.

My heart, soul, blood sweat, tears are there.

What does this mean for me?

visual dna

this was sort of fun and a distraction for a bit check it out

my new favorite song

Hollywood on My toothpaste - Telepopmusik

this is the best...

no really read & watch.....HERE

i am becoming one of those people that says they will go to events or whatever and then does not show...or shows up late. I really have no issue with this - but it is just VERY different then I have ever been. I am just doing to much....and want to do even more.

from the post below.... i go from that to saying over and over today.... either "well, i quit" or "agh, fuck me man."

YAY today.

I have begun drinking again.... not afraid anymore.

be active and not distracted....

my comment to myself and the world at large....

up to 5 years for what....???

boozen

well, I am not going to drink for awhile - better to say for an undetermined amount of time. The last two times I drank - granted I consumed a mass amount both times - i blacked out - and once became violent. Which I can not even fully realize what happened - I am not a violent person by any stretch of anyone’s imagination...I literally have sat for hours thinking about how me – yes, little old 5’7” - 125 lb me could be violent. I have never understood those folks that stop drinking for periods of time…maybe even found it lame…but now I sit here in my skin and am saying that I am doing such a thing. I actually feel afraid to drink….and that is the scary part. I do not want t hurt people - especially those I love.

and my very best friend frm high school is getting married in July!!

today

got lost in the NE.
did not have a warm enouigh coat on.
had a great cup of coffee that i forgot to pay for...oops
getting the Atlas District part of the fringe....slowly but surley
did my taxes...got $$ back
went grocery shopping...food!
consolidated my student loans...saved $$$
and it is only...6:30!!

bought a piece of art

photo by Tim Tate recovered by Jonn Gann

I bought a piece of art last week. A piece entitled inspiration. It is by Sean Hennessey. I really felt like this piece...big theatrical light buld…then the word work up top…really represents how I live my life… I will not receive it till feb 11…not sure where it will go at home or the office.

1958 7th and Florida Ave, NW

eggs?

I never know how long eggs are good for..when I ask this question...no one gives me the same answer..so, here is some information I found on a British website.

First and foremost of course is the use by date on the carton/box, eggs when purchased should have at least two weeks use by date, preferably three to four. This will depend on the dating structure of the company, I suggest you purchase from the same 'brand' and become familiar with it. They may only put a two week use by date on for example. But eggs that are within a week of their use by date are best used for frying, boiling etc but not for baking.
Inside an egg (at the rounded end) is a small air pocket that is barely noticeable when it has just been laid. But as the egg gets older the air pocket increases in size, this also displaces the egg yolk within it. Ever noticed when you boil an egg that the round end is flat or even dips inwards? That is the sign of a stale egg. Also when fried the white of this stale egg will run all over the pan instead of retaining a tight shape.

So how can you tell before you crack the egg open? Place the egg in a glass of cold water

A fresh egg will sit horizontal at the bottom : these eggs are suitable for baking (but preferably not meringue) and will maintain a good tight shape when fried or poached and the yolk should stand quite high with a good semi circular shape

As the egg increases in age and the air pocket gets bigger it will tilt upwards slightly: these eggs are suitable for meringues, baking and will maintain a reasonable shape when fried or poached, the yolk will be flatter in shape
An egg that sits vertically is stale: these eggs are not really suitable for baking, are best used for scrambling or omelets, will not maintain even a reasonable shape when fried or poached, the white will spread and the yolk will be quite flat. When trying to separate, the yolk will probably break as the egg white that surrounds it will be weak
An egg that floats should be disposed of (carefully!)

Actually, an egg has to be really really old to go bad. Or be exposed to heat. Eggs that are properly refrigerated and stored can last for several months before going "bad." An egg with that much age on it would probably fit into the #3 category, above. I do know that, during World War II, people in New Zealand sent fresh eggs, encased in tins of lard, to their cousins in England who were enduring the blitz. That transport sometimes took many weeks.

this is some puppet magic: jerome murat
note the set with the dail hands... :)