sickness

i have been in bed for 5 days. one of which i think that i did not move. i actually had a fever of 103! I had a fever for 4 days. I think it was sickest I have been in my adult life. I went to the doctor. I guess they helpped....I am taking the meds...and am a bit better. Scot got this too...i think at this point we are not sure who gave what to who...but the fevers have passed....I have have had so much ginger ale, soup, and water. last night we did order out and ate real food.

I have not smoked since last firday at about 3:30. I do not even really want one...seriously! I mean I have moments....but....trying!

I need more time

I need more time

It seems like days just evaporate into nothing…maybe I need to utilize the mornings in a better manner.

Trust

Trust

Why is this so slippery? Should it not just be a solid thing? Just be there…why does it flux in and out…is it me?

Life Plans

Life Plans

Sneeze – cough

Location

Location

I want to live in the west.

My heart, soul, blood sweat, tears are there.

What does this mean for me?

visual dna

this was sort of fun and a distraction for a bit check it out

my new favorite song

Hollywood on My toothpaste - Telepopmusik

this is the best...

no really read & watch.....HERE

i am becoming one of those people that says they will go to events or whatever and then does not show...or shows up late. I really have no issue with this - but it is just VERY different then I have ever been. I am just doing to much....and want to do even more.

from the post below.... i go from that to saying over and over today.... either "well, i quit" or "agh, fuck me man."

YAY today.

I have begun drinking again.... not afraid anymore.

be active and not distracted....

my comment to myself and the world at large....

up to 5 years for what....???

boozen

well, I am not going to drink for awhile - better to say for an undetermined amount of time. The last two times I drank - granted I consumed a mass amount both times - i blacked out - and once became violent. Which I can not even fully realize what happened - I am not a violent person by any stretch of anyone’s imagination...I literally have sat for hours thinking about how me – yes, little old 5’7” - 125 lb me could be violent. I have never understood those folks that stop drinking for periods of time…maybe even found it lame…but now I sit here in my skin and am saying that I am doing such a thing. I actually feel afraid to drink….and that is the scary part. I do not want t hurt people - especially those I love.

and my very best friend frm high school is getting married in July!!

today

got lost in the NE.
did not have a warm enouigh coat on.
had a great cup of coffee that i forgot to pay for...oops
getting the Atlas District part of the fringe....slowly but surley
did my taxes...got $$ back
went grocery shopping...food!
consolidated my student loans...saved $$$
and it is only...6:30!!

bought a piece of art

photo by Tim Tate recovered by Jonn Gann

I bought a piece of art last week. A piece entitled inspiration. It is by Sean Hennessey. I really felt like this piece...big theatrical light buld…then the word work up top…really represents how I live my life… I will not receive it till feb 11…not sure where it will go at home or the office.

1958 7th and Florida Ave, NW

eggs?

I never know how long eggs are good for..when I ask this question...no one gives me the same answer..so, here is some information I found on a British website.

First and foremost of course is the use by date on the carton/box, eggs when purchased should have at least two weeks use by date, preferably three to four. This will depend on the dating structure of the company, I suggest you purchase from the same 'brand' and become familiar with it. They may only put a two week use by date on for example. But eggs that are within a week of their use by date are best used for frying, boiling etc but not for baking.
Inside an egg (at the rounded end) is a small air pocket that is barely noticeable when it has just been laid. But as the egg gets older the air pocket increases in size, this also displaces the egg yolk within it. Ever noticed when you boil an egg that the round end is flat or even dips inwards? That is the sign of a stale egg. Also when fried the white of this stale egg will run all over the pan instead of retaining a tight shape.

So how can you tell before you crack the egg open? Place the egg in a glass of cold water

A fresh egg will sit horizontal at the bottom : these eggs are suitable for baking (but preferably not meringue) and will maintain a good tight shape when fried or poached and the yolk should stand quite high with a good semi circular shape

As the egg increases in age and the air pocket gets bigger it will tilt upwards slightly: these eggs are suitable for meringues, baking and will maintain a reasonable shape when fried or poached, the yolk will be flatter in shape
An egg that sits vertically is stale: these eggs are not really suitable for baking, are best used for scrambling or omelets, will not maintain even a reasonable shape when fried or poached, the white will spread and the yolk will be quite flat. When trying to separate, the yolk will probably break as the egg white that surrounds it will be weak
An egg that floats should be disposed of (carefully!)

Actually, an egg has to be really really old to go bad. Or be exposed to heat. Eggs that are properly refrigerated and stored can last for several months before going "bad." An egg with that much age on it would probably fit into the #3 category, above. I do know that, during World War II, people in New Zealand sent fresh eggs, encased in tins of lard, to their cousins in England who were enduring the blitz. That transport sometimes took many weeks.

this is some puppet magic: jerome murat
note the set with the dail hands... :)

Kirk Varnedoe

Back in March 2003. I came to DC to visit this guy I had met in a bar in Philly (that is a short story that needs no retelling) none the less during that visit I ended up at the National Gallery and heard Kirk Varnedoe's lecture on "Why Abstract Art." For those of you that do not know...I love art history...actually could care a fuck all about history until I starting learning it through art...so, i get kinda giddy for these sorts of lectures. This lecture was AMAZING. I sat on the floor in the back listening to this man that i had never heard of talk about art from Picasso to Pollack (this was the last in a series). Varnedoe was such a great speaker…and what he was saying about abstract art hit me…I mean I like it – I do…but it is hard for me to justify or explain well it to someone who hates it or does not see the purpose of it. Varnedoe died of a brain tumor shortly after I saw him speak…they had a great story in the New Yorker about him shortly after that…he was an amazing man with real passion for art and life…really free with his life..

The National Gallery has just come out with a video and book set of all of his lectures. I have not looked to see how much this might be…Varnedoe was one of the foremost experts on post modern theory…and the way he talked about it was so straight forward…not all academic.

You can read the preface to the book: HERE it is written by A. Gopnick.

Once I had moved here I told this to my new boss at the time Anne L. Corbett. She then told me her husband Sam Sweet had Varnedoe as an advisor in grad school…small world.

Welcom 2007! I am back from what turned out to be 12 days away from DC. I needed this break from this place....but am a exhausted from my travels. I greet this new year off kilter a bit. I have been stung with untruths that have left a welt. Despite all of that I feel a tinge of breath and hope with what I have to accomplish over the next 12 months. I believe in real human connection - this is what I strive for in every moment and interaction- those that grow in honesty and light. I am blessed with wonderful opportunities that I am allowed to explore…and dear friends.

Now I must go sleep so I can greet tomorrow with energy.

christmas moment 3

Ciara my niece ( 6yrs old ) “People what are you doing? We need Christmas sprit in this house – turn on those lights on the tree.”

christmas moment 1 & 2

1. scot singing a Christmas carol to me on the metro - actually made me cry.
2. getting a Christmas card from the man who bags grocery's at safeway in my home town.

travel

I am traveling today. I am actually at the Cleveland airport right now. I have not traveled on a plane since December of 2004….and have only left DC a hand full of times in the 4 years that I have lived there….

I use to be okay with flying. Going to boarding school and attending college in states other then Montana meant I grew up flying quite often. Things are very different than the way I remember them…

What is with the anger people?

Do I really need to go through such interrogation at 4am…??

How are these people awake?

Can’t they provide us with a place to put our shoes back on…I mean look at all these people stumbling around.

When did planes get so run down…are new planes even made…can I fly in them please?

How can someone have NO information and then suddenly we are leaving in 5 minutes.

Moving sidewalks are still fun.

Do I need to know every 2 minutes that the threat level has been raised to orange…maybe every 10 would be good?

Starbuck coffee is only $1.69! No tip jar??!

Denver airport is closed and fucking up all travel times – or this is what they are blaming it on first.

So, I have been in the Cleveland airport now for about 3 hours…I was at Dulles for 4 hours…and was actually at Regan last night…so, here are all these buildings that need to be functioning at a high level…at many different locations in the structure….and ALL are ugly. Why not get artists involved in the planning of these buildings…not just to install those lovely sculptures…or neon light displays…but on the function. Like the baggage carousels …can’t those look different…or the gates that reach out to the planes…why is everything SO ugly and bulky awkward?

Alright I sit now waiting for an announcement to send me on my way. I think I went to sleep at 1am last night and woke up at 3am...AWESOME! I did have a good night...I got to see someone I have not in a bit..and it was both hard to catch up and easy...if that makes any sense..?

So, why Cleveland airport? Heading to Chicago to see my sister Patricia and her family ( little Siobhan & Ciara ), Aunt B, Aunt Clem, my daddy…and Sandy…my grandma... cousins and so on…etc. Most of these folks I have not seen in 3 years! I am both excited and nervous about this visit ( of 8 days ). I will be seeing some college friends on Friday night… Heather and Joel at this point… I have not seen Heather since 1997 maybe… and Joel 1999…so tht will be a blast from the past!