I am going on a real vacation!

hello - so, the festival is over - people are paid - reports are done!

I started to plug away and and fill up my calender for September....and then...I realized how much work our organization has to do this year - basically the entire company will be restructured - new org chart - hiring new people -changes abound! All of this is great for Fringe! We need to change as the path we had was wrong - wrong!! So, here we go on to a brighter - saner future....but wait I am really tired from the past year!?

Scot is of in Utah right now doing a Wilderness Training course - for 14 days he lives out in the desert...the whole thing sounds horrible to me - but he is excited about it. So, I am going to pick him up in Utah on September 1 - ( yes I am flying to Salt Lake by myself - and then driving 4 hours to get him by myself!!) Then we will go to his cousins wedding in Flagstaff - then just drive around the West for 20 days...yes - you saw that right 20 days!! WE will go to my home town and visit folks there - lots of camping and hiking....lots of mountains...and lakes.

I am really excited. I have never really done a real honest vacation!

Till then i am really working almost 10-15 hours days to get thing ready for me to be gone for 20 days!!

When we return - i will move to a new apartment - the goal is Oct. 1st - but it will be more like Nov. 1.

So, here is to a MUCH MUCH better - clearer picture year!!

Cheers!

wait what blog

humm

things are so busy - busy is not the right word. things are eventful before the event...

scot and i have had a house to stay in for the past - shit, man two half weeks. I have been able to make so great meals...and get away from - wait, i like where i live..just get awwy for getting away sake - one huge bonus it is closer to the office - like a 10 minute walk...that has been nice...so, yep, this ends july 4th. and back columbia heights.

i have been so...stretched. I have forgotten to brush my teeth some days...sorry for those that I had to be around..I have taken to carrying a toothbrush and other things with me...

so, my sister is getting married. aug 4th....ticket? not yet...

i had some great pickles the other day...and saved the juice and stuck some fresh beets in it....yum for later.

I have developed a stress condition. Only I can control it - no meds. I have been really good this week in doing so. But the two weeks prior I was a wreck. I am so positive and feeling good about things ...and then I can turn a corner and freak out....but this week I have feeling better.

I have no point in this blog - I am just taking a break before I make a sponsor sign for the box office. I am going to start with things to check out fringewise on our myspace page...so...

alright...peace out...

hoo-ah

i do not hate mothers day. really. it is just a hard day for me...it makes me sad as i see people doing kind things for their mothers or having to call there mothers....or whatever. I wish i could tell my mom happy mothers day...i know i can - but for real like she was alive and not dead....and why this year have three people said happy mothers day to me...I have not known how to respond I just smile and say nothing.

It is odd sometimes how you can avoid something for whatever reason - but life ever do gently shoves it right back in your face...just so you won't forget.

and on a totally separate note I just learned on Friday that DC does not have school buses...huh?

Defining the future of Americans for the Arts

The good folks at Americans for the Arts are diving into a strategic planning process, and scanning the environment to see how and where they can focus their energy in the coming years. As part of that search, they've launched an on-line survey to gather insight and input from a wide range of constituents. take a moment and fill it out - it could help the future.

Peace out!

i am just happy to be here....

eating at ted's montana grill was just a great night for me....

home?

I spoke with my dad about three or five weeks ago and he let me know that he will be selling our home in Montana. This was not a huge surprise as he has been talking about retiring and moving to Silver City, New Mexico….I had been planning to go home in late August and part of September. It seems now that house has sold and my dad will be moving out as of June 1.

I have been really unsure what to think about this or do…and emotionally have been all over the place. I have never really moved out of my childhood home. My room was just as I left it till I was 28 – that was only 3 years ago.

I decided about a week ago that I must go home…I would regret it if I did not....but when things could not be busier and I could not be pulled in any more directions. I sat on this decision for a bit – only telling a few. I told my dad I would be coming home earlier this week to pack up my things and place in a storage shed in Dillon….and now I have purchased my ticket.

So, I will head to Dillon May 16 – 20 to pack up things…so many things filled with so many memories….I have been trying to not reflect on the past to much…but I am having trouble and have been cranky at time as of late.

I am not sure what all of this will feel like when I am there and it is real. I have been dreaming about going home in aug/sept for so long…I am not sure what to do with those thoughts now.

sickness

i have been in bed for 5 days. one of which i think that i did not move. i actually had a fever of 103! I had a fever for 4 days. I think it was sickest I have been in my adult life. I went to the doctor. I guess they helpped....I am taking the meds...and am a bit better. Scot got this too...i think at this point we are not sure who gave what to who...but the fevers have passed....I have have had so much ginger ale, soup, and water. last night we did order out and ate real food.

I have not smoked since last firday at about 3:30. I do not even really want one...seriously! I mean I have moments....but....trying!

I need more time

I need more time

It seems like days just evaporate into nothing…maybe I need to utilize the mornings in a better manner.

Trust

Trust

Why is this so slippery? Should it not just be a solid thing? Just be there…why does it flux in and out…is it me?

Life Plans

Life Plans

Sneeze – cough

Location

Location

I want to live in the west.

My heart, soul, blood sweat, tears are there.

What does this mean for me?

visual dna

this was sort of fun and a distraction for a bit check it out

my new favorite song

Hollywood on My toothpaste - Telepopmusik

this is the best...

no really read & watch.....HERE

i am becoming one of those people that says they will go to events or whatever and then does not show...or shows up late. I really have no issue with this - but it is just VERY different then I have ever been. I am just doing to much....and want to do even more.

from the post below.... i go from that to saying over and over today.... either "well, i quit" or "agh, fuck me man."

YAY today.

I have begun drinking again.... not afraid anymore.

be active and not distracted....

my comment to myself and the world at large....

up to 5 years for what....???

boozen

well, I am not going to drink for awhile - better to say for an undetermined amount of time. The last two times I drank - granted I consumed a mass amount both times - i blacked out - and once became violent. Which I can not even fully realize what happened - I am not a violent person by any stretch of anyone’s imagination...I literally have sat for hours thinking about how me – yes, little old 5’7” - 125 lb me could be violent. I have never understood those folks that stop drinking for periods of time…maybe even found it lame…but now I sit here in my skin and am saying that I am doing such a thing. I actually feel afraid to drink….and that is the scary part. I do not want t hurt people - especially those I love.

and my very best friend frm high school is getting married in July!!

today

got lost in the NE.
did not have a warm enouigh coat on.
had a great cup of coffee that i forgot to pay for...oops
getting the Atlas District part of the fringe....slowly but surley
did my taxes...got $$ back
went grocery shopping...food!
consolidated my student loans...saved $$$
and it is only...6:30!!

bought a piece of art

photo by Tim Tate recovered by Jonn Gann

I bought a piece of art last week. A piece entitled inspiration. It is by Sean Hennessey. I really felt like this piece...big theatrical light buld…then the word work up top…really represents how I live my life… I will not receive it till feb 11…not sure where it will go at home or the office.

1958 7th and Florida Ave, NW